i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
