I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
its liver damage thursday
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
