I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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