Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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