all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The cops high fived after they tackled you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
