Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
