Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
