he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
