dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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