I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
