If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize