i dont even know how to be here
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
