EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
