i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
