no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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