Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
