Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
