oh god the rape fog is back!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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