Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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