i just wanna soil my oats bro
accomplished twins. life is a go
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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