oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
