worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
