i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize