i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
