he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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