She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
