You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
