She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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