I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
