Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
