At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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