my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
