My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
