i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
