If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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