I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
