Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
