i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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