no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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