How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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