where am i from again
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
