You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
last night I used snow as a chaser
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
