And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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