idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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