Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
