In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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