Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
