If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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