i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Oh god it's open bar.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
