Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
