Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sober January is a disaster.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
