did you get engaged???
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
