Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
