another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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