I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i think i have two assholes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
