oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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