dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
