just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize