Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
