i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
