Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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