is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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