would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
