I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
