some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
