Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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